I love this story out of El Cerrito, California. Witnesses had reported to police that there was a naked man exposing himself and masturbating in public. The police arrived and the man was taken into custody on suspicion of indecent exposure.

Even though the man was naked, standard police procedures require the officer to ask the suspect in custody whether they had anything on them that the officer should know about. This is a common, and surprisingly effective way to jog the suspect’s memory about hidden drugs, weapons, and other contraband.

I thought it was an odd question for the officer to ask a naked suspect. More amazingly, the suspect admitted that he did in fact, have a weapon. Now things get really interesting. The suspect told the officer that he had a screwdriver hidden in his rectum. The police, unsure or perhaps unwilling to do anything, called the fire department.

The firefighters arrived as requested, but after considering the situation, felt this problem was beyond their area of expertise. They suggested that it would be best to take him to the Emergency Room. Upon hearing this, the suspect proclaimed it was nothing to worry about, and volunteered to remove the screwdriver himself.

It later turned out that the suspect was recently paroled from state prison. The new charges included suspicion of parole violations and indecent exposure. Oh, and let’s not forget the felony count of possessing a concealed weapon!