photo credit: Silveira Neto

I must be such a nerd. Like most people, I know what a high-five is and why you do it. But thanks to an article in the Jul 2008 issue of Wired magazine, I now know that there are at least 4 different versions! Heck, I still haven’t gotten the clenched fingers handshake down, now I have to learn the 4 different ways to high-five? See just how cool/hip you really are:

In the classic high-five, the person to initiate is “The Man,” or Woman if that is the case. You can’t look at the hand you are high-fiving, you’re supposed to be looking at his/her elbow. Finally, you are supposed to cup your hand, not keep it straight. Slap your hands together and make an exclamation about whatever has gotten you so excited.

There’s one called “The Todd.” You would think I would know about this one, but I didn’t. I’d sue for copyright infringement, but since I can’t do it, I would probably lose my case. In this version, you implore your victim to “show The (don’t forget the “The”) [insert your name here] some love!” Now you high five with the hand held flat, not cupped, and you do it as hard as you can. Ouch! Then you take your numb hand and try to snap your fingers out in front of you. No thanks.

The next one is called “The Top Gun” where you do the classic high-five straight overhead, except you only make contact with the outside edge of your hand, kind of like a karate chop. Then you drop your arm down to the 6 o’clock position and do it again. Then oddly enough, you are supposed to howl at the moon like a dog or a wolf.

Finally, there is the “21 Jump Street.” This one must be reserved for conference rooms or some other hidden space, because I can’t imagine anyone doing this in public. This involves a team, probably of at least 3 or more people. Everyone extends their hands toward the middle, just like you did in Little League baseball or high school football. Then you wiggle your fingers while moving your hands upward in unison. Makes me think of the Three Stooges for some reason. At the peak, everyone pretends their hands are guns with the thumb as the hammer, and fires off into the air. I think they should throw in a little hop at the same time, just to show how serious they are.

I totally flunked this cool/hip test and would be completely lost if someone expected me to perform one of these maneuvers. Good thing there is no such thing as a high-five on the Internet.